


Hold Me Down

by lipsstainedbloodred



Category: All For the Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-03
Updated: 2016-06-03
Packaged: 2018-07-11 22:40:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7073437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lipsstainedbloodred/pseuds/lipsstainedbloodred
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This shouldn't be a problem.</p><p>or, the story where Neil has a panic attack from being tied down.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hold Me Down

Neil has never had a problem with Andrew restricting his hands. Throughout the course of their relationship Neil has stuffed his hands in his pockets, crossed them behind himself, let Andrew hold his wrists down over his head, and it’s felt good. It’s trust, giving that part of himself over to Andrew, knowing he won’t abuse it. This shouldn’t be a problem.

“Neil.”

They’re black leather, padded, and lined on the inside with silk. They’re soft and smooth and expensive. Andrew wouldn’t let him know how much they cost but he knows they’re expensive.

“Neil.”

They’d talked about it for weeks beforehand, Andrew wouldn’t budge on the subject. It had to be something Neil was completely sure of before Andrew would even consider looking at buying them cuffs. Neil had been completely sure, he had been. ‘It’s been two years,’ Neil said, ‘you hold me down all the time. It’s okay. I trust you.’

_I trust you. I trust you. I trust you._

“Neil, _breathe_.”

Neil finally sucks in a shaky breath. Andrew has tossed the cuffs to the floor. He presses a firm hand to Neil’s chest and says “breathe with me.” Neil’s breaths are shaky and thin, too quick to be of any real use, but  
the seconds tick by and his breath starts to even out. He doesn’t want to look Andrew in the eye.

“I’m sorry.” Neil says and he hears Andrew hiss above him.

“Don’t.”

Neither of them could have expected the panic attack. Neil had been fine until Andrew placed the second cuff on him, removed his hands from Neil’s body for just a moment to readjust and suddenly Neil was in a bed back at Evermore, Riko’s face above him saying _“When it’s too much for you, don’t hesitate to cry.”_

Andrew lays down beside Neil to give him space and Neil appreciates it. His skin feels too tight drawn over him, clammy and covered in cold sweat. Andrew doesn’t expect him to talk about it, and Neil appreciates that too. Andrew’s hand finally settles over Neil’s wrist and Neil realizes that he’s been picking at his skin in distraction. Picking at the scar. “He’s dead.” Andrew says, rubbing his thumb over Neil’s pulse.

“I know.” Neil closes his eyes for a moment. Andrew is warm at his side and smells like the cigarettes they had smoked not even an hour before.

“I need to know if I can touch you.”

“Yeah.”

So Andrew slides his other arm under Neil and tugs until Neil has his face resting on Andrew’s chest. Andrew rests his hand on the back of Neil’s neck and the striker lets out a sigh. Andrew mumbles “fucking neck fetish” into the top of his head and Neil snorts out a laugh. Andrew’s reply to that is, “Well, that was unattractive Josten.” And Neil lets out a full laugh at that, which he feels like might have been Andrew’s goal in the first place.

Neil lets his hand take hold of Andrew’s, lacing their fingers together. He taps out the words ‘thank you’ in morse code with his thumb. 

“Shut up, Neil.”


End file.
